Strength
With a lot that has been going on I have been thinking about the support I give my friends. I mentioned earlier in my blog that someone I know had recently been diagnosed with Cancer again. She has been telling about the various reactions people have had to her illness. Many of them aren't very supportive of what she is going through and one of them even complained that there was always something going on and she wasn't fun anymore!
I tend to forget that a lot of people live in their own little bubble and are only ever worried about their own situations. People can in a simple way be very selfish.
I am the type of person who has complete strangers telling me their complete life story and secrets within hours of us meeting. People often find they are telling me intimate private things and don't quite know why. I think the main reason is that I am very good at one thing: listening. It is a very under appreciated and quite rare trait. Most people you talk you can see them formulating what they are going to say next rather than listening to the person talking. I listen and take things in for one simple reason - I am genuinely interested. I like find out about people and what makes them tick. And I am good at it.
However when it comes to my problems, well I am pretty much a closed shop. I am a very internal person and I rarely give anything away about myself. I guess the main trick I have is that I reveal small slices of my psyche whilst making people think I am presenting a great essence of myself. I solve my problems internally, I may use a friend as a sound board, but I never really need advice. My mom always had to drag something out of me if I was down or upset. Most of my empathic abilities come from her. I can read moods and know how to help people.
I have always been told that whenever there is a problem I am good for both advice and to lean on. I am good at offering and providing support. An ex-girlfriend of mine said that I was the strongest person she had met, that I had strength enough to support two.
The only problem is that if you are strong enough for two people, it usually means that you are twice as strong as the person you are with, which is never a good situation.
I tend to forget that a lot of people live in their own little bubble and are only ever worried about their own situations. People can in a simple way be very selfish.
I am the type of person who has complete strangers telling me their complete life story and secrets within hours of us meeting. People often find they are telling me intimate private things and don't quite know why. I think the main reason is that I am very good at one thing: listening. It is a very under appreciated and quite rare trait. Most people you talk you can see them formulating what they are going to say next rather than listening to the person talking. I listen and take things in for one simple reason - I am genuinely interested. I like find out about people and what makes them tick. And I am good at it.
However when it comes to my problems, well I am pretty much a closed shop. I am a very internal person and I rarely give anything away about myself. I guess the main trick I have is that I reveal small slices of my psyche whilst making people think I am presenting a great essence of myself. I solve my problems internally, I may use a friend as a sound board, but I never really need advice. My mom always had to drag something out of me if I was down or upset. Most of my empathic abilities come from her. I can read moods and know how to help people.
I have always been told that whenever there is a problem I am good for both advice and to lean on. I am good at offering and providing support. An ex-girlfriend of mine said that I was the strongest person she had met, that I had strength enough to support two.
The only problem is that if you are strong enough for two people, it usually means that you are twice as strong as the person you are with, which is never a good situation.
posted by Tony Play at 2:34 pm
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