The Ex

Last night was the meet up with my ex. As per the cliche, she has had her hair cut! Is it just the usual reaction that as soon as you split up from a long relationship, you have to get a new barnet? Still she looked good and the new doo suits her. We talked a lot and she cried a lot which was hard for me. Even though we are no longer together I still have a lot of feelings for her and I don't want her to be unhappy. It would be easier if there was a reason, one of us cheated or something like that. But as we have broken up because we both weren't happy, there is no villain in this feature. We both have a lot of love for each other but both of us are in a much better space now (god I sound like I should be on an america talkshow - space indeed!), so it is a very confusing situation. As she left we kissed, then she stopped and then it was a bit awkward and then we hugged. The bus turned up and she made a big dramatic exit to go and get on London Transports finest. And then the bus had to change its driver, so she had to stand there until the bus was ready. Life does have a way of screwing up those Hollywood moments doesn't it? I had to laugh and go up and make a joke of it, and then she left. How we go from here I have no idea, but I hope it works out ok. I would hate to lose her from my life, so I hope the friendship thing works out.

The trouble is, I can't help but feel that it is going to take us a long time before we are comfortable with being just friends. If ever.