I have a dream...i think

I had quite an intense conversation with a good friend of mine. The conversation had drifted around to how our families had grown up. My parents had their first child, my sister, when my dad was 25 and my mum was 23. I was born two years later. By the time they were 30 (my age) they had two children and a mortgage. I have neither. I always thought when I was younger that my buddies and I would get married and have kids who would all grow up together. Barely a handful of my close friends have kids and most of them weren't planned. Most of my friends are around my age and few are in serious relationships, let alone looking for the 2.4 scenario. I think as a generation our priorities have changed. We no longer look at the nice house in the suburbs, with a car, dog, and runny nosed children as our dream. The only people I know who are in that situation are friends of mine from back in Essex. All of my London bods couldn't afford that situation in the first place but most of them don't even want it. I sometimes feel like we have decided that is not what we want but we aren't really sure what our new priority is. Our careers are usually something we enjoy but rarely love, so it isn't as if we have sacrificed families/relationships for our jobs. My friend was even being reflective about an ex, thinking that maybe he should get back together with her because no one better had come along since they split up. Their relationship was a bit rocky and it didn't really make him happy, but he is starting to have a slight niggle that it is better than being alone.

I guess I do feel guilty about my parents. They probably thought they would have two married children, and grand kids a plenty, running under their feet. Instead they have me, single and restless, and my sister, who is unfortunately no longer with the father of her child (someone she was with for nine years!).

I don't plan for the long term. I think about tonight, this weekend, the week ahead. The most forward planning I ever do is booking snowboard holidays! I feel like at the moment I don't have anything to work towards. I earn good money in a job where I can't advance much more. I don't have a girlfriend to plan a future with. And I certainly don't have kids. So what major life changes do I have to plan for?

It does make me feel a bit aimless. I live for the pleasures I have (snowboarding, 360 games, films, books) and for the good times I have with my friends. Even though I know I am happy to be this way at the moment, I know at some point I will want more. I just wish I knew what that was. I think most of my friends feel the same way as well.

We have constantly been told there is more out there than what our parents had. I just wish some bugger would let us know what that is!