The never ending question
There is one question I always get asked when meeting someone new. It will be asked without fail as soon as they find out a little fact about me. I am tee-total.
I don't drink
I don't smoke
I don't do drugs
Now most people are surprised by this after spending some time in my company as they usually think that I am a complete piss head by the way I act and geek of.
I always get the asked the same simple one worded question:
Why???
And I hate it. Not because I don't want to justify it but purely for the simple fact that I don't have a reason. I am not a recovering alcoholic, I never had a bad experience (both not possible as I have never ever been drunk, high or tried smoking), my parents weren't alcoholics and didnt beat me with cat o nine tails. No real reason. When I was 13/14 I started hanging out with 17/18 year olds who already drank. I never went through the whole "getting drunk with your friend for the first time" thing. I never started and so it soon became a habit.
Lots of people try to analyse me - same old pseudo american psychology bullshit - I am scared of losing control etc. Nice try kids, but you are clutching at straws. Straws that don't exist!
Of course I then get told how good I am and and how much they admire it etc. I am not that great at taking compliments and been given them over something I haven't done is very weird.
Do I feel superior for not drinking? Not in the fucking slightest. I don't judge or look down on people for drinking. Who the hell am I to tell people what to do or not do? I spend all of my time around friends who drink and partake of the other. And we still get on and enjoy going out with them when they are pissed because (and try to keep this a secret): drunk people are VERY VERY funny.
Luckily not many people have ever had a problem with it. Except a few macho twats - "don't trust a man that doesn't drink". I usually look them in the eye and say "true, and remember that when you are drunk and your defenses are down, I will be there watching and waiting!"
Of course too many people to even count have tried to get me drunk. But here is a clue people - all those cunning plans you come up with to get me drunk, conceived when you are drunk, are hardly master plans. But like I say, drunk people are funny so it just makes me chuckle when they come up with a vodka thinking I can't smell it.
So if you ever get the chance to go out on the razzle with me, please don't ask the question. I am only embarrassed because I truly don't have an answer, and I am not being coy and not telling you, I just don't know what to say.
Oh and buy the way, I have en exceptional memory so I will remind you of what you did the night before over that relaxing roast in the pub the next day.
I don't drink
I don't smoke
I don't do drugs
Now most people are surprised by this after spending some time in my company as they usually think that I am a complete piss head by the way I act and geek of.
I always get the asked the same simple one worded question:
Why???
And I hate it. Not because I don't want to justify it but purely for the simple fact that I don't have a reason. I am not a recovering alcoholic, I never had a bad experience (both not possible as I have never ever been drunk, high or tried smoking), my parents weren't alcoholics and didnt beat me with cat o nine tails. No real reason. When I was 13/14 I started hanging out with 17/18 year olds who already drank. I never went through the whole "getting drunk with your friend for the first time" thing. I never started and so it soon became a habit.
Lots of people try to analyse me - same old pseudo american psychology bullshit - I am scared of losing control etc. Nice try kids, but you are clutching at straws. Straws that don't exist!
Of course I then get told how good I am and and how much they admire it etc. I am not that great at taking compliments and been given them over something I haven't done is very weird.
Do I feel superior for not drinking? Not in the fucking slightest. I don't judge or look down on people for drinking. Who the hell am I to tell people what to do or not do? I spend all of my time around friends who drink and partake of the other. And we still get on and enjoy going out with them when they are pissed because (and try to keep this a secret): drunk people are VERY VERY funny.
Luckily not many people have ever had a problem with it. Except a few macho twats - "don't trust a man that doesn't drink". I usually look them in the eye and say "true, and remember that when you are drunk and your defenses are down, I will be there watching and waiting!"
Of course too many people to even count have tried to get me drunk. But here is a clue people - all those cunning plans you come up with to get me drunk, conceived when you are drunk, are hardly master plans. But like I say, drunk people are funny so it just makes me chuckle when they come up with a vodka thinking I can't smell it.
So if you ever get the chance to go out on the razzle with me, please don't ask the question. I am only embarrassed because I truly don't have an answer, and I am not being coy and not telling you, I just don't know what to say.
Oh and buy the way, I have en exceptional memory so I will remind you of what you did the night before over that relaxing roast in the pub the next day.
posted by Tony Play at 10:01 am
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